Red Riding Hood Romp

I was once part of a challenge given to authors to retell "Little Red Riding Hood" in 25 words or less. Competitive nut that I am, I was all over this task like a case of poison ivy. Here were my initial offerings:

Double haiku (22 words)

Ailing grandmother,

A wolf snack. Not appeased, Wolf

Gobbles Red. Dessert.

Snores lure Woodsman. 

Axe emancipates. Fill Wolf's

Greedy gut with rocks.

Red's Complaint (25)

I resent being eaten. And duped by a wolf wearing Granny's nightgown. It's embarrassing needing Huntsman to cut me free. Now my riding hood smells. 

Red Riding Nouns (25)

Cake, basket, hood;

Path, daisies, hut.

Door, nightgown, cap,

Clues, terror, meal.

Snooze, slumber, snore,

Ear, huntsman, axe,

Slit, release, joy!

Stitch, belly, rocks.

       Retribution.

Well, after my 25-word awesomeness, apparently the other writers complained that the task was impossible. (Pah! I spit upon their wordiness!) So the bar was raised (or lowered) to 50 words. Not one to sit idle, I produced the following:

Limerick (33)

"Go to Granny's. Don't speak to rough strangers."

So with basket, and no sense of danger,

     Red gave Wolf the address,

     Fell for Granny's nightdress,

Was cut free by a lone forest ranger.

Double Double Dactyl (Learn more about this fantabulous whimsical poetic form, or else what I've written won't make sense)

Higgledy-piggledy!

Little Red Riding Hood

Toting her grandmother's

Luncheon did romp.

Failing to spot Wolf's crude

Verisimilitude,

Red embraced "Granny" and 

"Granny" said, "CHOMP!"

[Alt ending 1]

Snaggedy-snorety!

Romulus Hunterman

Heard the wolf snoozing, and

Sliced that sly fox.

Granny and Red, now free

(Thumbing their noses at

improbability),

Stuffed Wolf with rocks.

[Alt ending 2]

Snaggedy-snorety!

Romulus Hunterman,

Heard the wolf snoozing, and 

"Swish" went his axe.

Granny and Red, now free,

Unnecessarily

Groveled before the man,

Offering snacks.

***

Fun, fun. Now if I could just get someone to pay me to do this all day. Chime in & vote for your favorite, or leave your own LITTLE "Little Red."